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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Outer Banks, here I come!

It's Sunday night and I'm exhausted. If you have tried to call or emailed me, I'm sorry I haven't responded. Today was the hardest day post-surgery since the local anasthesia has worn off and it's just the oxycondone to keep me pain free (although I have to tell you, I get why people get addicted to this stuff--you fly pretty high!).

Anyway, Beth is here with me and we're headed for the Outer Banks tomorrow, specifically Ocracoke Island. For anyone who doesn't know the magic of those two words, do a google search and you'll understand why I need to leave here. The waiting is hard. I'm trying not to think about Thursday, but it's "BR" day (Biopsy Results). So much of future treatment will depend on the results of the biopsies on Thursday.

Which means I need to head out of Dodge. I will miss Matthew (I get to bring Bruno--YAY!) and I will miss my friends and the community support that has overwhelmed me in its generosity here and all over. But I need some time away. Time away from email and my computer--even though I'll have access to both. But psychologically and emotionally it will just feel good not to be here amidst my daily life waiting.

I'm not a patient woman. I don't want to be a patient woman (in all senses of that word--a female patient, a patient female--gotta love the chiasmus!). I want news. I want to know how to move forward. Instead, for the next few days, it's limbo time.

So if I'm going to be in limbo, I may as well do it at the beach.

Looking ahead to the topic of a future post: Cancer observations (all the things I've noticed happen to me or that people say to me or how people react to me post-diagnosis revelation).


  1. The chiasmus/"patient" remark--you are so an English professor!! :)

    Have fun on your vacation! Hope you have an awesome time relaxing.

  2. Not that you'd ever need consider or need to do such a thing but you do know there's a serious black market for oxycontin, right? :D

    Go, smell the good salt air.

  3. Reading the blog and thinking of you, Jennifer. Hope the beach trip was restorative.

  4. Hang in there, Jennifer! My mother used to say that it was not bravery to want to keep living, but I do admire the life force that is basic to your being. Hope you have a great time in the Outer banks